The Grampound Times
Summer 2006 (Edition 42 - Carnival Edition)
Our community in Cornwall
Dolly's Pineapple Sponge
DAVID PROWSE (my favourite poet) for his employment is a Gardener at St. Teresa’s Cheshire Home, Long Rock, Penzance. With his permission I have included a number of his poems in past issues for your pleasure. As I sat back at my computer to continue with Grampound Times No. 42 after reading “Dolly’s Pineapple Sponge” the tears were still running down my face! I had just been scanning David’s book entitled “POEMS FOR THE EARLY BIRD” looking for a poem to pass to you - in truth every one of his poems merit inclusion - but I had just read Dolly’s story……….I hope you will enjoy
DOLLY’S PINEAPPLE SPONGE
Now, dear Auntie Dolly, as a cook was the worst,
She couldn’t boil water without burning it first,
But old Uncle Courtney, in fear for his life,
Would always heap generous praise on his wife.
‘Neath her challenging posture, like a pupil at school,
He’d swallow her cinders and smile like a fool
With a “Dear that was lovely!”, or a gratified look
Till she truly believed in her powers as a cook
But even old Courtney had to venture surprise
And allow one small glimmer of doubt in his eyes
When Dolly announced, “That there Show’s comin’ up
With my pineapple sponge, I shall bring back the Cup”.
“What show’s that, my dearest?” “Royal Cornwall of course!”,
He gulped on his chicken (which he’d swear was a horse)
And considered how fate offered cruel reverse
Which could take you from ‘rotten’ to something much worse.
Well, the rest of us shuddered when told of her plan,
We’d suffered her gourmet delights at first hand,
I wouldn’t describe them as basic, just crude,
To judge by the taste and the pain that ensued.
When we saw what she’d made, all our fears were confirmed,
No recognised shape could be clearly discerned,
It was more a collection of dollops and lumps
Encrusted with cherries and pineapple chunks.
But Courtney said, “Ansome!”, so they went off to pack,
Then squeezed in their pick-up with the sponge in the back,
We didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry
As we nudged and we winked and we waved them goodbye.
It was late in the evening before they came home
With smiles on their faces like Darby and Joan,
When Dolly stepped out in the gathering mist,
A Certificate waved from her plump little fist.
As Courtney stood grinning, Dolly preened like a swan,
Then read from the scroll what was printed thereon,
‘First-Class Commendation – Mrs. Dorothy Blake
For her highly original upside-down cake.’
© 2006 Grampound with Creed Parish Council