The Grampound Times
Easter 2007 (Edition 44)
Our community in Cornwall
REMARKS AND EPITAPHS
There are many sayings remembered for their style and wit such as Oscar Wilde speaking on experience “this is the name everyone gives to their mistakes” or on hunting or galloping after a fox “the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable”. There are other put downs such as when Samuel Johnson was asked by a young writer for his opinion on his work, Johnson replied “the piece is both original and good but the parts that are original are not good and the parts that are good are not original.” Bernard Shaw was also rather pithy and when asked by an orchestra leader what would he like the orchestra to play the answer was “dominoes”. Winston Churchill too could be sharp as when Nancy Astor said “If I were married to you I’d put poison in your coffee” to which he retorted “if you were my wife I’d drink it”. Also the very outspoken Labour M.P. Bessie Braddock was reported to have rebuked Churchill for intoxication “Winston you’re drunk” and had the swift reply “Bessie, you’re ugly but tomorrow I’ll be sober”. Horatio Bottomly, jailed for fraud, was stitching mail bags when a prison visitor said “Ah, sewing?” to which Bottomly retorted “No sir, reaping”.
Epitaphs too are both memorable and humorous. On the grave of a Wells Fargo agent in Arizona is the following:
Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a 44
No less, no more.
From a tombstone in Edinburgh:
Erected to the memory of John MacFarlane drowned in the water of Leith, by a few affectionate friends.
On a grave in Lillington Church a rather sad epitaph
Poorly lived and poorly died
Poorly buried and no one cried.
On a grave in Stoke on Trent:
All who come my grave to see, avoid damp beds and think of me.
© 2006 Grampound with Creed Parish Council